Day two dawned pale and sunny but no such nastiness as the day before. Off we went to find a Starbucks and a gas station to fuel all vehicles. Once that was done, straight east on I 70. Not a whole lot different from the day before except that there were a few more trees. Through Kansas City and St Louis. Overnighted in Paducah. So nothing really exciting to blog about this morning.
I will say that I feel a bit isolated. There’s nothing like a drive across the country to let you know the reality of what is where in a relationship. I’m finding that, at this late stage in my life, I’m not nearly as external as I used to be. In my old life, I used to have all sorts of external activities to keep me occupied … busy, busy, busy. If it wasn’t dog agility, it was my horse. Or some thing on which to focus my attentions.
But now, all that is different. I mourn the loss of so very much from friends to activities to a sharp brain to a sex drive. But it sure does narrow down what kinds of things float around inside your head. And this trip has really pointed out how my needs, in a relationship, are way different than they were before. No longer is it good enough to just share a surface relationship with the people closest to me. Because my surfaces aren’t as broad as they used to be.
So what matters most to me now? Heart things, spirit things … things that will matter where I’m going. I suppose it’s natural that my thought life should change as my body is changing. For the most part, I just go with the flow on that but boy it’s tough in a moving vehicle. My poor husband is not a heart guy. And suddenly I need heart and lots of it.
He is such a wonderfully amazing man. He just walked in the door from going across the parking lot to get me a caramel latte. Takes care of me in so many ways I literally worry about him and his health. And now here I am asking for a deeper relationship … more heart? Talk about thinking you’ve died and gone to hell! Poor guy!
So today, we’re on the last leg and should be cruising into Marietta at a decent hour. Hearing on the weather right now that Missouri might be getting some snow today. Sure glad that’s in our rear view mirror!