So I have been feeling so horrible lately! I just knew, what with my tumor markers rising, cancer was out of control. Appetite nonexistent most of the time, so pretty malnourished. And when I could eat, I would vomit pretty soon afterward, so that made me not want to eat for fear I would see it all again. Last week, my oncologist expressed the same concerns as he ordered a boatload of scans for me: liver, chest, abdomen, pelvis. I know what he was expecting when I went in last Friday to see him. But to his great surprise, he didn’t see that. What he saw was lots of cancer, but the liver that had not been scanned since Apr 2011, had no new lesions. Sure there were still diffuse mets all over the bones that were visible. And still my abdominal mets did not show up at all. Of course, it kept going on about my large-volume ascites even though I had just had 4.5 litres sucked out a mere 3 days prior. Whatever.
In any case, my oncologist was ecstatic and wants me to hold off on tx right now. In fact, he took me off all of my drugs in an attempt to give my body a cleanse. Never had an oncologist suggest such a thing (naturopaths, yes). So that’s where I’m at right now. Labs again Wednesday and I see him again Friday. I think he is guiding me toward Navelbine chemo but I will need a port first.
And now for the loss. I have made so many friends over the years of cancer living. Most of them are internet-only. But in a few cases, I have actually gotten to meet them face to face. I have now officially lost my last long-time, face-to-face cancer friend. She fought so hard for 5 years straight … all conventional. And it finally wore her poor body out. It was a liver failure and not from cancer … it was from a new tx drug and she had to live out her last days knowing that she had killed herself trying to save herself. I am devastated. I have two left … and they’re only from last spring. Karen and Jamie, y’all better keep on keepin’ on! I NEED YOU!!! Kim, my deepest love to you, sweet spirit! You are now free of that diseased body, flitting and floating free of pain, sorrow, and part of all creation now. I miss you, my dear friend … till the one day I see you again!!!!