Sure, it made me eat … and eat … and eat and that was wonderful. But I still had to medicate before lunch, which meant my afternoon was shot, and then again before dinner. So if I was going to be up and running, I needed to get all that done early in the day cuz the rest of the day I was pretty much on the couch. Which is not my preferred state of being every day, but a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. So there I was … a retired military officer, married to an active duty military officer … smoking weed every day. Here I huddled in the garage, blowing the smoke out the cracked door hoping the neighbors couldn’t smell it! And then my daughter mentioned a thing called a vaporizer. A what? I had visions of those big steamers we would put in our bedrooms when we had a cold as kids … you know, those things you put Vicks VapoSteam in? Could not imagine how one could get high with that thing! But she assured me it was a smoking device of sorts, so I immediately got online and started looking. Good LORD!!!! There were so many contraptions … all different shapes, sizes, and functionalities. What in the hell do I do with all of this? Where do I even start? So I found this website that is a community of vapor afficionados and they talk about every vaporizer made. Here’s your way to it so I don’t have to post the name of it so as not to offend those more innocent than I (which includes just about the entire universe). After much reading, asking questions, and head scratching, I settled on an Arizer Extreme. The contraption you see below is the Extreme.
When it arrived, I hadn’t a clue where to start, so I called the vendor and he asked me if I’d ever vaped (the act of using a vaporizer to use cannabis) before and I told him no. He said I was in for a real treat, explained how to use it, and told me that smoking weed was like a “hillbilly high” (hey now WAIT …. I’m from NC … watch yer mouth!) and vaping weed was more of a “Beverly Hills” high. Was he ever right!!!!! Since I have discovered vaporizers, there have been no more coughing fits, no more paranoia … it was like a religious experience except that I’m not religious. But you know what I mean.
So this vape (short for vaporizer cuz us stoners are inherently lazy, ya know) had so many functions. You could take single-use hits from the whip (the silicone tube that transports the vapor from the bowl to your mouth) or you could fill up a big “balloon” for a more social event (read recreational use) to pass around. It delivers big, ripping hits so as a baby stoner with no tolerance at all, it actually taught me some mathematics. So here’s my math education for that semester: top-shelf, medical-grade weed + a big ripping vape = me freaked out in a fetal position. I knew I hated math! I learned to tread lightly with that thing and use only half a hit or so. Was a very steep learning curve and, even so it took 10 minutes to warm up to full temp, so it wasn’t the best fit for a medical user.
By this time, I was beginning to have some minor blockages in my small intestine, so things got pretty crampy/spasmy on top of the fluid. This was the second thing where cannabis kicked serious ass for me! I had tried the anti-spasmodics, but they only gave me relief for a short time and then I couldn’t take them again for another four hours. But not so with cannabis. Wow, those spasms were nothing for the mighty cannabis plant. That stuff would melt my belly into soft submission within a minute or two. Now, when it got really bad, I might have to vape every 30 minutes, but with cannabis, there’s no risk of harm with that. It was a long night, to be sure, but that cannabis and vaporizer kept me from a trip to the hospital that night. But I also learned that waiting 10 minutes out of every 30, for the vape to heat up, is just not my thing. It was time for a new addition to what was to become my collection of vapes.
In this section, I’m going to give you, along with my personal experiences, the science to educate you about cannabis. And here’s the first lesson regarding vaporized cannabis and pain pills. If any of you are currently using opiates, guess what? Vaporizing cannabis can reduce how much you have to use! Win win situation, IMO!